By: Dr. Rachel Kramer, Child Psychologist and Consultant to the LEAP Schools
Lately, I have been thinking about simple rituals that promote family connection. Many families have well-established routines for celebrating holidays, some of which can be quite elaborate and may involve traditions that have been passed along over the generations. While these types of practices can be wonderful and extremely meaningful, my focus today is on simple routines that promote a sense of connection, comfort, and closeness. These types of family rituals might occur daily, weekly, or less frequently, perhaps seasonally.
Examples of simple daily or weekly rituals:
- Lighting a candle or candles at family mealtime and perhaps letting children blow out the candle(s) to signify the end of the meal.
- Watching an episode of a favorite show with your tween or teen after they have finished their homework.
- Scheduling a weekly family trip to the library.
- Making pancakes for breakfast, brunch, or dinner on Sundays.
Seasonal or less frequent rituals might include:
- Going for a ‘signs of spring’ walk where you look and listen for harbingers of the season (plants sprouting, birds or peepers chirping).
- Picking a night to stargaze and/or look for shooting stars – the Perseid meteor showers in mid-August might be a good time to try this.
- Choosing a simple way to acknowledge family member’s half-birthdays – perhaps letting that family member decide what to eat for dinner that night or making them a silly card. My young adult children still enjoy it when I send them a new book to commemorate their half-birthdays – a tradition that began when my oldest was a toddler.
If you like the idea of developing a new ritual, I’d recommend thinking small and focusing on connection. In addition, consider how these routines align with your family’s values. For example, if helping your children develop autonomy is an important value for you, you could consider creating a ritual around cooking a meal with your child every few weeks or months so that over time they learn to cook independently.
My intention by offering these ideas is not to have parents feel they need to add another item to their to-do list. Rather, I’m recommending that parents elevate small, meaningful moments such as sharing a family hand squeeze around the table, having a dance party, or taking time once a week to sip hot tea or cocoa and chat with your tween or teen.
